Telepathy will be exactly like this.

Anonymous said: When are you going to admit that a "rollable gender" is a secret tumblr feminist call to arms that you encrypted into your post?

i’m glad you enjoyed that ancient post so much.

Anonymous said: recommend me films? i rarely ask this but i genuinely love your taste in everything

also please watch MISTER LONELY right away.

Anonymous said: Are you into the decorative arts at all? Windows, lamps, chairs, jewelry, that sort of thing?

not really. one of the (MANY) reasons i’ve never ever really been a full-on cool kid is that, at heart, i’m self-punishing and austere and don’t naturally reach out for things that excite or flatter me. i think either an ex-boyfriend or my dad (sorry, boyfriends, sorry, dad) once said that they could imagine that i could basically live in a bucket and it would be about the same for me as any apartment i’ve ever had. i’m also clumsy and impractical, so crafting something remotely functional would be really difficult for me.

Anonymous said: What was your favorite TV show as a child?

The most important thing was that Fox showed a couple horror movies on weekend afternoons. They had an amazing ad for this that played the song “Shout” (as in “you make me wanna”) with all the money shots from CHILDREN OF THE CORN and HALLOWEEN 3 and shit. If you can find a copy of this ad online I will totally give you something.

Anonymous said: I'm starting a petition to ask you to rename this blog to PUTYOURFUCKINGSHOESON


Anonymous said: i saw a cute girl getting off the bus and she was just wearing a huge white tshirt that said “DAD”

yes good

Anonymous said: Why is everyone fat in the Midwest?

hey fuck you skinny!

Anonymous said: Ben Kingsley would of been good as Dr. loomis in one of those tacky Halloween remakes

Yeah, sure, or Yul Brynner or Patrick Stewart or Don Rickles or Mr. Potato Head, but why make the movies at all?

Anonymous said: you're not a fan of murakami? (of the haruki variety)

Not especially. I liked some of the greatest hits just-ok, but 1Q84 made me want to throw punches. I actually like fiction that doesn’t make a lot of literal sense, but I find him inclined sometimes to push it so far that he makes no ALLEGORICAL sense either. Probably my favorite is the book of aum shinrikyo-related interviews.

Anonymous said: what's a good weird book or graphic novel you read this year

I read Parasites by Ryu Murakami (the only Murakami for me) and liked it. It’s about how some hackers use an autistic shut-in’s obsession with a sexed up Rachel Maddow type to convince him that he is possessed by a worm whose natural purpose is to help decimate the human population. I can’t think of a really unexpected comic book that I read. Maybe the Picturebox edition of Last of the Mohegans is a good candidate though, it seems to have informed everything Gary Panter ever thought of.

Anonymous said: Do you ever blank out at your desk/computer screen for a few moments and go cross eyed and literally feel like a sack of flesh and bones with a little duel-eyed peephole, lost in outer space like a celestial turd?

No, I revel in the greatness of my personal identity and my life is a continuous party in my honor.

Anonymous said: creation and maintenance not your thing? get it on the destruction gig. you'll probably end up fucking yourself up, but that can be a part of it too.

You got my number, I seriously dream of demolition and garbage.

Anonymous said: i say just break it then. who gives a shit what you look like.

i know it’s like a foul bauble of man’s vanity

Anonymous said: windex + old newspapers didn't do the trick? start at the top and work your way down as well.

i’m 33 years old, i’m not getting any better at anything. i’m making my boyfriend do it, he accomplishes common tasks in a normal way.

Anonymous said: I just saw a recent picture of Chevy chase and realised that time will destroy us all

big whoop

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