Telepathy will be exactly like this.

Anonymous said: are you smoking a fat doobie for 420

fuck off pig

Anonymous said: My dad keeps stealing and using my fleshlight without cleaning it. He just puts it back where I keep it and doesn't say anything about it. How would you personally confront this scenario if it was your dad?

i dunno. go to the bank and ask if there’s any extra dye packs you can have.

Anonymous said: I have a gnome and a unicorn in my party and between the two of them they have over 230 HP so you better watch out

who thinks they’re hilariously funny? who is it?? IS IT YOU???

Anonymous said: Ah yes, Newtown radio, named after the great scientist sir Isaac Newtown the inventor of gravity

Is this real? Is this really your joke?

Anonymous said: Is there any ironic douchebaggery that *does* appeal to you?

That’s not really a rich and varied category of behavior in which I can point out easily defined subsections that anyone would recognize and understand. And when you put it that way it’s basically impossible to say yes.

Anonymous said: Where do you buy your clothes from?

the garbage

Anonymous said: Never heard of Queen Adreena until that post, but I just wiki'd them and found out they share the same vocalist as Daisy Chainsaw, who were kind of awesome. It's borderline nu...but has certain qualities that keep it out of Korn-y territory.

i totally agree. that one album, drink me, just kills, i had never really heard anything quite like that before, certainly not from a woman (in my ignorance). after they they seem to have pretty rapidly degenerated into kind of a competent but understimulating pj harvey cover band. it’s probably hard, biologically, to keep making that kind of noise forever.

Anonymous said: Do you like doom metal? or any metal at all?

i like plenty of metal, but it’s one of those things that’s flaunted as a badge of honor by hipsters, femmy girls and all kinds of people who think it’s really novel for them personally to like metal. i’m not erudite enough about it to acquit myself of that membership, so i don’t talk about it very much unless i’m asking for recommendations.

Anonymous said: Were you to bike to the top of the Mount (Todt Hill), what would be the Ten Donner Commandments that you'd instill upon your lowly followers?


Anonymous said: What if you discovered Dr. Boyfriend had a checkered past as a twice convicted gigolo con artist with an as of yet unidentified third strike? How would you decide whether he'd been working you over a long con or had finally decided to go clean as of meeting you?

i feel kind of bad that anonymous strangers have a much frothier fantasy life about my boyfriend than i do.

Anonymous said: Do you remember Smash Mouth?

i’ll answer your question with a completely sincere and non-rhetorical question that i desire (anyone’s) answer to: i remember lots of things i have no use for. why is it so desirable to continuously just mention things that by some design flaw we pointlessly continue to remember?

is this what happens if you like go out to a bar and try to meet people?

is this what happens if you like go out to a bar and try to meet people?

Anonymous said: So we ALL know how much you revile Game of Thrones, but where do you fall on *Gay* of Thrones?

I don’t think I’ve talked enough about the just-whatever Game of Thrones for you to pretend to try to tell a joke about it.

Anonymous said: When are you going to admit that this entire tumblr experiment has all been a ploy to scour for material for your long-gestating, over-sized, destined to go unfinished secret Proustian novel that you've been slaving away at for all these years?

how flattering to everyone I follow

Anonymous said: What's your favorite video game

Metroid II: Return of Samus

THEME BY TeensCanRelate